Note to self: keep your thoughts- the things about which you ponder, your opinions, the topics about which you are knowledgeable, your ignorances- to yourself. Otherwise people whom you barely know will call you out and pick you apart.
The comment wars. How we spend our time debating subjects on Facebook, bullying people, or simply being rude to them when in real life we would never act this way. The veil of the Internet allows sharpness and a disregard for others’ feelings to come out. The social barriers of kindness are gone when the medium is a keyboard or thumbs on an iPhone in lieu of a voice, of eye contact, of facial expressions and body language. It is so easy to hurt people whom you barely know in this fashion. It might even make the perpetrator LOL in the process.
I am not perfect and do not know everything about everything. I am not a cultural expert on the world. However, I understand that black women’s hair can be a very contentious issue, and I know Shakira’s ethnic background because she is my idol and I probably know too many random details about her life. I love Shakira and Beyoncé, the subjects of a Facebook status that I posted. I recently watched Beyoncé’s music video for her song “Blue,” and my favorite part of the video was the fact that her hair was “perfect” in my eyes: long, wavy, silky, and light blonde with dark roots. I then wondered why I loved hair that looked like a white woman’s hair. Additionally, Shakira is one of my “hair idols.” I envy her natural wild curls and love her hair when it is dyed blonde.
Fuck. I dye my hair blonde.
Beyoncé is African-American, and Shakira, though born in Colombia, is of Lebanese, Spanish, and Italian descent. My Facebook status in question was pondering why these two women choose to dye their hair blonde when, according to my knowledge at the time of posting, it was pretty obvious that they are not naturally blonde due to their ethnicities. I totally believe that people can do whatever they want with their appearance, including their hair. Again, I think that Shakira and Beyoncé have beautiful hair. However, there is a cultural phenomenon called a standard of beauty, and in too many places around the world, beauty is associated with having lighter skin color, hair color, and eye color. I was hoping that Beyoncé and Shakira weren’t trying to meet this standard and instead choose to go blonde simply because they like it.
I dye my hair blonde because I like it. I am also of German, Swedish, either Russian or Lithuanian but my mom doesn’t know for sure, French, and Irish descent. I have pale skin and green eyes. It is pretty common for people from my particular ethnic backgrounds to have naturally blonde hair, and so I sometimes I think that I can pass for being a natural blonde. I also live in a place that is sunny all of the time which contributes somewhat to the lightness of my hair.
I learned after posting my status from a commenter that some Middle Eastern women naturally have pale skin and light hair and eye color. I am glad that I now know that and am a little bit less ignorant on that subject.
However, I had a couple of other commenters “calling me out” for the fact that I, too, dye my hair blonde. One commenter whom I met one time two years ago and haven’t spoken to since said, “Posts a status about how weird it is that other women dye their hair. Dyes her own hair. LOL.”
You know what? I do think it’s kind of weird that the two arguably most famous pop stars in the world dye their hair blonde- yet I dye my hair blonde. I also think it’s weird that someone came up with the idea of shaving one’s legs and armpits- yet I shave my legs and armpits. It’s weird that a lot of men will pay for dinner on a first date with a woman- yet I have let men pay for me on a first date. It’s weird that in our society, we respond, “Good!” to the question of “How are you?” regardless of the fact that we may be doing poorly- yet I tell people all the time that I’m “Good!” I think it’s weird that someone came up with the idea of painting one’s nails, and I don’t paint my nails. It’s weird that humans have consciousness and plants don’t. It’s weird that we don’t know what happens after we die.
I like to dance weirdly sometimes. I am prone to meowing randomly. I once went through a phase in which I greeted people by saying, “Hiiiieeeeeee.” I also went through a Scrunchie phase. I don’t ever want to have children.
Weird is not bad. Weird is curiosity-inducing, thought-provoking. Weird is fun.
Or maybe that is just my own weird opinion.
There are things about me that are weird. There are things about life and the world that are weird. There are in things in my culture that I think are weird but in which I partake anyway. I’m a fucking hypocrite, guys. Isn’t it weird how “guys” can be a genderless way to address people but “girls” is not?
Anyhow, I’m entitled to my own thoughts, opinions, and ability to ponder the world around me with my sociology glasses on. I’m a sensitive person and a lot of the time cannot handle the backlash that comes from being a human being with a voice and an opinion- but perhaps I should work on maintaining confidence in my own voice and even my own human imperfection as opposed to bowing down to people who disagree with me or who are flat out mean to me.
As Collie Buddz once said, “I’m blind to you, fucking haters.”